I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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