She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
