Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
