Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
