My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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