i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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