Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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