covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
