am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
