brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
