I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
