Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
