before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize