Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
