I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
