Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
