I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
