I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
