You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
