She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
