can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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