Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
