if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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