Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Someone shit on the floor
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
