Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
