I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
