Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
