How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
