I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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