we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
