I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
