Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
