Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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