I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He felt like a one man threesome
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
