I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize