Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it was like eating out sand paper
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
