Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize