Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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