tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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