Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed