gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
this will be a night to untag.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
