My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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