Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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