Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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