I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
