Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
