i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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