so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
