I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
