i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize