I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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