roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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