I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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