Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize