If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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