My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize