I'm really into asian looking animals
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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