i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize